Is it?

Okay, if you've never read Twilight or the Host, stop reading... You may not understand...
So, I might have met him. My Jacob. My Ian. We have a weird connection. We're both gamers, and he has played D&D, but he's into a different game, which I'm starting to like. It's a LARP called Vampires. I enjoy it, but in the game we play rivals, so we can't be seen talking together I/C.
Just so you know, I met him online, then met at a public place with a heavy purse, just on the off-chance he wasn't what he said he was. He was. And it's been a great 3 weeks.
And, no, I won't tell you his name, where he lives, or any other info about him. I know a few of my readers... And I'd rather not bury my boyfriend, K?

So my favorite teacher, like, ever, Mr. Bayer, has a new Student Aide. ME!! I'm sooo happy! Now I can bug him before school, during school, and after school! Yaaay!

There's a new guy in school. His name is Matt. And there's something about him I can't figure out. His aura is... not normal. So, you know how I can be... I've taken it on myself to give him a friend. I know, I can be annoying... But everyone needs a friend, right?

I'm watching a marathon of Momma's Boys, and I've thought about auditioning... Lol... It's a good show...

Oh yeah...
Mom's in the hospital. Nothing serious, but she'll be there for about a week... I'm going to miss her, because now I have to live with Dad/Hitler.

Wish me luck!

Javion Raymond Bigalow.

So, there's this asshole in one of my classes, (see name above), who thinks he's better than the world. Well. I think we're going to have to fix that.

Here are a few of his emails.

This was todays:
look bitch your a nobody ive neve wanted u how could i go out wit somebody who wears the same pants everyday the only reason i talked to u because it was apart of me becoming an omega gent we had to talk to the most pathetic girl and u fit dat catagory your nothin and by da way im better than u in every way possible im smart super smart good lookin popular an educated black man with a great future ahead of him and i have the best gf in da world your just a fat ugly nerd wit no life o by da way stop wearing da same pants everyday

This is what's going on on Facebook:


Javion Raymon Biglow
December 12 at 7:33pm
Report Message
fat nerdy bitch
Sent via Facebook Mobile


Makenna Driscoll
December 21 at 6:35pm
Really?? Me?? You're the one who's so insecure about himself that he's afraid to do anything that makes him look gay. Are you afraid of your own feelings? Homo?

Javion Raymon Biglow
December 21 at 7:44pm
Report Message
Woah i aint gay just because i care about the way i look dosent make me gay unlike u i like to look presentable
Sent via Facebook Mobile


Makenna Driscoll
December 22 at 8:54pm
I don't care how you look. It's about how you act. I also don't like the way you're playing Skye. Because of your *actions*, I think you're gay.I am an actress. I *study* the way people act. YOU are gay.

Javion Raymon Biglow
December 22 at 10:20pm
Report Message
no I love skye and I aint gay just because I dress nice and u wear those same ugly ass pants everyday don't get mad I might be a little metro but not gay never dat you just mad because I don't want yo fat ugly ass I would never want to be seen wit you you fuckin nerd
Sent via Facebook Mobile


Makenna Driscoll
December 22 at 10:31pm
nice. ALL of Skye's friends know you're playing her. You love her?? Then why the hell were you trying to hook up with Juliana while dating her?? Why were you trying to finger Kristina??I may wear glasses, but I'm not blind. Metro?? Bullshit. You don't act metro. You don't act gay. You're so repulsed by the idea that someone may think you're gay, or even look gay, that we all think you are.Oh, and by the way, I'm not a "nerd" Geek, thank you! I am not "fat," I'm merely in love with food. I am not ugly, only to you. And it's not your opinion I care about, mainly because I will never entertain the idea of dating a bigshot, liar, player, and schovanist. Sorry, but I'm not. Maybe someone else will, but I don't envy the women who get beaten by their husbands for not doing the dishes right. Oh, and just a tip, if you're going to hit your wife like I expect you will, make sure that when she wears strappy dresses, it won't show.And Viagra will help with that little "problem" of yours.

Javion Raymon Biglow
December 22 at 10:47pm
Report Message
one I do love her just because im popular don't mean nothin and I just told jilliana that I liked her and I didn't do shit to christina and little problem please u wasn't complaining and I will never hit a women I takes care of mine skyes going to have a rich husband in the nba euroleuge wich im going to after graduation u just want wat skye got but you could never get some body like me your a nobody people knows who skye is and you can't talk about me about nothin untill u know how to skip a meal
Sent via Facebook Mobile


Makenna Driscoll
December 29 at 12:20am
Who said you were "popular?" NBA? You have to be good. Are you even on the team this year? You weren't at the last assembly. Do you honestly think that I want you??? Why would I be attracted to you? You are a stuck-up jerk who cares only about himself. I could never get anyone like you?? The last time I did anyone, he was 21, WITH a job. My best friend is 23, with an even better job. YOU, on the other hand, are a jobless highschooler with no future.Oh, and guess what? I can't control genes. I'm large because it's in my family. I always have been, just as you are tall. You know what?? Maybe you should shrink!

I did not edit anything. Nothing to make him look worse, or me better. If you've been reading this, you know I give the whole truth. But I'll let you be the judge.

I've been thinking of embarrassing him. Handcuffing him in class maybe, using my MP friends' real handcuffs. Or just slapping him or kicking him in the soft spot. Making him get on his knees and beg forgiveness, maybe. Or just do it at lunch. In front of everybody. Oh, the things I could do. Slip some epicac into his food. Heh. Make him puke in class. Heh. Slip some Viagra into his food. THAT would be epic. IDK. I'll have to think about it. Wait till he does something in class. Or I could just go to the police.

Sorry!

Yeah, yeah, I know... Haven't been here in forever, blah blah blah...

So, if you haven't heard the news reports... it SNOWED in Las Vegas. SNOWED. Yes. I had SOOOO much fun!!! On Wednesday, December 17th 2008. It snowed. I even built a little snowman.
And on the 18th, we had a SNOWDAY!! The first one in 30 years! SOOO much fun!

And then, the 19th, was my 18th birthday. umm.. yeah, it pretty much sucked. Only Juliana, Gage, Carlos (creep. I don't know HOW he knew...) and.. wait.. NO ONE ELSE at school remembered. I have been bitching and complaining about my birthday for two weeks. hm. You'd think they'd remember.

I got House season 1 on DVD for my birthday, and I finished the entire season on Saturday.

Christmas is coming, and I'm looking forward to: guess! Going to my aunt's house! What were you thinking?? Presents? I already know what most of them are. So what's the point? I love Aunt Sadie's other family. I love seeing them. I grew up with one of them.

So, Gage called. With good news and bad news. The good news is that Gage had fun on the mountain, and came back alive. The bad news: He came back, but from what he said, just barely. He says he has a fractured rib or two, and he hurt his femur(?), as well as hurt his arm.. That's what he says. He has no casts, but if he fractured his leg, it would be wrapped in a heavy layer of plaster. If you throw out your knee, they'll put it in a cast. Sometimes. But if there's a break of any kind, they cast it. If it gets moved, bumped just wrong, or anything, it'll set wrong, and he may never walk again. So I have a small feeling that he's playing it up a bit.

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

Today is my father's 58th birthday! YAAY! ..Old Fart.. XD


So.. I think I've met someone since the last time I wrote anything.
His name is Kevin, and he lives in Cedar Rapids, IA, one of the towns that got hit with all the flooding this summer.
We met on the 19th this October on Gaia Online. He was looking for a girlfriend, and I thought, Why not? So we started talking. Turns out we have more in common than I have ever experienced.. And it's not just my opinions, but his too, that we share. It's refreshing to know that there may be someone out there for me. (I had that rant earlier about how I will NEVER find my true love, remember?)
And for all you worry-warts out there, I have been cautious, watching his webshow (Pants Off, Potato's Up), and watching his webcam live, talking to his friends, looking at his pictures on Facebook. I've done my research. We also aren't going to meet for a while, so we'll know eachother better. And I'll be meeting him in public, with my oldest brother if we meet there, or with my older sister if we meet here.

Kevin, I'm just being cautious. I trust you, but it is a risk, as you know.

Well, Kevin and I are going to go kicking ass and taking names on Guild Wars.
Thanks for reading!

Pariah.

If you've ever seen the movie Princess Diaries, then you know me. I'm her. You know, Anne Hathaway? The one who goes from completely invisible to a princess?

--->Me.<---

At Legacy High School, I am invisible. No one sees me, and today? I actually got sat on.

And when people do see me, it's only because a teacher brings me to thier attention. And then, they only make fun of me. TEACHERS pity me. Some I don't even know.

So I made up with Gage. He's the only reason I can explain it all, that the whole school is defending him. I'll see Monday if it worked.

Not that I used you, Gage, I've been wanting to apologize, but I was scared. And I didn't want to kiss the asses of the entire school. But, I did it, and I feel better.

I'm so sick..

Not much has happened since the last time I wrote, except.. Oh, yeah. I got sick.

Okay, someone? Anyone?

So I stayed up tonight, just waiting for a sign. For what? I don't know. What kind?? I don't know that either. Maybe just an email, or a phone call. But of course, I got neither. Maybe that in itself is a sign.



I've been thinking about my life, which is never good. Thinking about life makes my moods spiral into a whirlwind of depression. I stop eating, talking, and even doing anything. I lay in my room, brooding or napping. I don't interact with anyone, unless it's to snap at my sister about some idiotic thing she's done, or hasn't done, and then mom gets upset, so my moods are even further down the drain.



And it doesn't help that this guy is creating so many problems for me. I know he doesn't do it on purpose, but he's helping me ruin my life. I don't know if he's a liar and a fraud, or a martyr, and like it would Dr. Gregory House, it pisses me off. He says he's been having minor heart attacks, but honestly? I don't know what to believe. He nearly passes out after school today (Okay, yesterday...), and it seemed like he was having a heart attack, but they never sent for an ambulance, which makes me wonder where the HELL he got his acting skills. 'Cause he said that he was "pretending" to be drunk. If he was able to pretend THAT for the duration of Homecoming, then..., well, what else was he faking?
And, because I entered the group because of him, I am being shunned. Great. Crazy said it's because Gage is trying to hide a secret from me, and can tell everyone else, but they can't tell me, they're scared to talk to me, else it will slip. This must've been huge.

I've also lost EVERY MINUTE HOPE that I will ever be loved, and/or get married. I'm so tired of fickle men who one week, leads you on, and the next week lies to you to go out with another chick. That just pisses me off.

During 1st period today (yesterday), we were talking about abortion (closely related to aberration. In fact, they're even both in the same spell check). I read an article on how they abort the fetus. It's so awful, it made my stomach turn. For the first trimester, they insert a saline solution into the womb. And it doesn't just kill the baby, oh no! It burns the baby alive. Monitors actually have recorded the baby trying to flee the oncoming wall of fire. The fetus is alive. It has survival mode! It is a creature with a will to live. And "mothers" consider this NOT murder??!? And after the first trimester, it's almost as horrid. The Doctor, who apparently has no concerns for human life, induces labor, then stabs the baby at the base of the skull, carefully NOT killing it at that point. He/she (though it's hard to imagine an female doing such a horrendous act to a baby) then inserts a vacuum into the hole, and sucks the baby's brains out. The baby is obviously crying at one point. How can the ex-mother stand to hear the baby wailing for its mother's warmth, and its scream of pain when the stab-wound is made??
As I was telling this information to the class, one of the girls yelled out, "And then the doctor eats the brains, right?" and the room was filled with raucous laughter. Except for the other girls who were crying with me. Some people had to leave the room, and I don't blame them. I told the story with so much passion, I'm sure some became nauseous.

But in all my other classes, I have become invisible. No one takes note of me, comes up to talk, or asks for help. Only a select few will even acknowledge me, besides the teacher, unless it's to poke fun.
I'm tired of being alienated and estranged. I feel so alone. And it Obama does NOTHING to help, as I am a McCain supporter, and more than 9/10 of the school's populace is an Obama. Maybe even more. So there's another reason for me to get poked fun at, and spit on, and candy tossed at me.
No one would consider me as Homecoming or Prom royalty. No one knows me.


Lonely! I'm so lonely! I have no-body! To ca-ll my owww--NNN!!

*Growls*

Dear Gage,
I know you are reading this, as you always read my blogs. I wanted to tell you, I am EXTREMELY pissed at you. HOW many times did we discuss the affects of alcohol and drugs on a body under 24?? HOW many times did we talk about my massive dislike to drugs and alcohol??
You've been begging me back for a while now, and then you pull that little stunt at Homecoming?? That disgusts me. I am soo glad that I didn't go to Homecoming. I would have slapped you. When I see you, I have urges to do just that.
I'm tired of the sappy notes, the eager look in your face when you see me. I am NOT going back.
Gage, you never really loved me. You never loved yourself. You have to love yourself before you can love someone else.
Good luck in life.

My friend does his math...

So one of my old friends is... well.. super-smart. He told me about this blog entry a while ago, but I never got around to looking at it. I read it, and I'm going to let you guys read it (emphasis on guys..). So here it is!

Math

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut
right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder
to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his
arm out the window and gave the woman the finger. " Man, that guy is
stupid," I thought to myself.

I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day.

Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars.

Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive
past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest
problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is
armed.Give her the finger? I don't think so.

Matt Rhodes

So, there you have it, one of the best articles by a blogger I've ever read. Now I just have to go and tell him I used it.. *shudders*

Back to school! YAAAY!!

Ugh. Summer got soo boring near the end. So school started on the 25th, and let me tell you, I was sooo happy! I've got amazing classes. (7/8 are enjoyable).
School helps me take my mind off of things, like say... How alone I am? My friends and I all argue about how I'll never find love (They're on the defense. I am of the opinion that there is no one out there for me, and I will never find true love. Ugh. I have to stop reading romances...) I've come to the conclusion that even desperate men won't have me. (I asked two if they ever would even consider it, they said no. They didn't want to "ruin our friendship.")
So, if no one has figured it out, I broke up with Gage. He was driving me crazy. I broke up with him the Tues. before school started. I'm not going to go into details, but he's been irritating me since. I think he's forgotten how to smile, and that's bad.
D&D started on Wed. Gage and I are in the same group, so it's a little awkward, but we'll get through it.
Okay, so my Birthday is only about 3 months away. I'm scared. I don't want to be eighteen. I know I've probably complained about it already, but... It's soo close. There are some things I'm excited about, like joining my DM's Adult Only group, and driving. But the other things, like getting a job, and bills, and living on my own terrify me.
Well, I'm going to go.